Its officially 8 days until my 34th birthday and I decide to get on the scale.  I slink back realizing that I have not lost weight like I thought but instead put on a significant amount.  Seeing myself naked in the mirror before entering the shower makes me want to cry.  I don't want to show self-esteem issues to my young daughter, I want her to see a strong, beautiful person when she looks at her mommy.  I don't want her to feel how imperfect I feel when talking to my own family as I am the largest in it.  I want her to like herself and to be healthy.  Overall she makes smarter choices about food then I do, what example does that show when the 3 and a half year old knows to choose the cucumber slices over the Cheetos?  I guess its time for me to really grow up and get serious about being healthy.  I don't think its just about weight loss, as I've played this game my whole life.  Its about being happy with myself and working to improve the parts that I don't like. 

Since high school where I wasn't tiny, but I was fit, I have put on 100 pounds.  100 pounds, that's pretty much a whole person.  That's sad.  I don't think I'm going to loose the weight like I did when I was pregnant, throwing up every day sucked.  But I should not be carrying around an extra person either.  I don't think it's going to come off tomorrow or with pills alone but I have to start somewhere and stick to it. 

Step 1: Get some sleep... staying up all night due to whatever reason needs to stop.  I set a bed time for my daughter I need to abide by the same.  Even if she doesn't always want to go to sleep when we start. 

Step 2: Make smarter food choices.  Cut out coffee creamer and soda (one weekend of having a few sodas has caused me to crave them; and I'm not a big soda drinker)  Everything in moderation but two cups every day with this stuff in it is not good.  Increase protein over grain (limit bread or wheat made things)

Step 3: Move more!! Key to everything... I work in an office and drive roughly 500 miles every two weeks.... I need to find something that gets the blood flowing to other parts of my body besides my ass.   This includes walking with the munchkin to the park... or just walking on my own while she's at school.  Maybe actually do my Zumba tapes or my Kettle Bell work outs.  I need to remember to start slow, I haven't done this in a little while. 
I might even start getting off of work on time to allow me some time to get moving while she's at school.  Or start just a little later since I'll be working later.  What I don't want to do is take time away from my munchkin, she already spends so much of her day with others. 

Dream: To loose at least 80 pounds
Reality: Loose 15 pounds by the munchkin's birthday.  But 1st maybe 4 pounds by Sept. 21st trip to KD with the family. 

Dream equipment is a treadmill but I have so much more to do with the house 1st.  Maybe clean up the basement so I can and will use my punching bag... hint great stress relief. 

Ok all that said, I need to get some water in my system... and possibly some fruit.